I'm Tired of it all

I have to spell it out for him or I just fucked it all up. We are not going to the movies, we are not really friends, I know I am his boss, we flirt at work all the time, he is always asking questions about my life, and I don't know what to do. I am not going to ask him on a date again. It really makes me think either he is really fucking stupid or it's me and nothing is ever going to happen. I am worth a date, shit at least I feel like I am. It's been too long since I have been on a date. I mean come on, I am just going to leave it alone and act like it's not there. It will work itself out in time I guess. It's hard to explain but it feels like I will not get my happy ending sometimes and I know I am just being foolish but it just does.
My sugar has been running high all day- probably because I have been so stressed out over a number of things. I am done with my life right now, I am done with me and this stupid life. I am done with Kevin, my family (all of them), Nicole, mother's day, my health, and probably just work in general. Honestly I am just so tired of trying and trying and trying and trying. I just feel like breaking down and crying I just feel like giving up. Tonight I am too sensitive and everything that I am told in harsh tones or if they are just joking makes me feel worse.
I am tired of Carol not being able to get any better. I am tired of her acting like her health is not a big deal. I am tired of her running herself into the ground trying to do for others. I am so tired of her family acting like everything is okay when it truly isn't. I am tired of her inconsiderate fucking sister and all her bull shit. I hate that she has had to go through this and I hate the fact that all of this has happened.
I have to go to the bathroom now.