dear stuck in a rut, lets shake things up!

Look at that picture, that was 5 years ago. It's amazing how time flies and all of a sudden you are not 19 anymore. I don't feel old, this is not the meaning of this post. I feel like I am moving forward as a person and I am being able to accomplish great things in my life.
To all of those people who are just waiting for your life to start, for your life to get better, or whatever you are waiting around for...go out and make it happen. Love the road you are on, life is happening and life IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT. Of course we cannot control everything that happens to us but, we have to be able to know the difference. Time gets wasted, and we are all guilty of it. We should all be thankful for each day that we are given.

So tonight I am in my room and I am getting ready for the week ahead. I have a to do list made for tomorrow, and a room that looks like someone had destroyed it time and time again. It's cold outside and I am covered in blankets watching a quite interesting movie. I read a blog today that made me stop and think about all that has been going on and things are so busy that it's hard to not get caught up in the craziness of it all! I feel like too much is going on and I have not been able to get organized or complete simple tasks at home and at work.

Mainly I feel lost in all of the events that are making up my life right now and I am not focused on the goals at hand. I have not really been able to sleep which doesn't help me when I have so much to do during the day. I just am hoping to shake all of this shiftiness off. I want to enjoy life and life is what I am making it right now...SHITTY!

Do You Feel Like You Were Meant For Something Better?

So it will be a year next month that Alison and I have been living together, and when I thought about it last night I realized that so much has really happened. Now it is like we are moving in a total new direction and all of these possibilities and new opportunities popping up. It's really exciting and scary at the same time. It's one of those times where you see change really happening. This week it has seemed like everything has become so real, so real.
I hate the waiting part and I have the not knowing part of this new move in my life. I don't know what is going to happen with this surgery or with the recovery and I don't know when I will be able to go and run the Orlando store. The important part for me with the surgery and work is that I can't rush getting better just to end up sick again. I don't know where I am going to move in Orlando or when the new store will be opening and if I am going to move before the store opens or after it opens.
Work is going well, it's just like we are just getting by at times. We have too many Indians and not enough chiefs!!! I am training and Indian right now and he seems to be doing really well. I will be able to train him tonight and tomorrow morning, he is a quick learner and I am really excited about what he can provide for our company.
Things are just on the move and happening right now and the best thing that I can do is get organized and work my ass off! This past week has been busy at work and I have been feeling so much better than I have for the last month of January.
Last night Alison and I got the lease taken care of for the house we are living in right now. We just have to update the lease next month and then it's a waiting game. I feel like all of a sudden I am the hold up in our plans, but I know it will all work out.

Stuck on Repeat

Sometimes I wonder why I keep falling for the same person over and over again. Have I not gotten over this person? It's hard to take feelings that you have for someone and flush them down the drain when you see them on a regular basis. I don't really understand why things do not work out with us and I am and have become more frustrated with this situation. I have been letting it bother me so much lately and I really shouldn't be. My main concentration should not be on him at all, I have plenty of other things that require much more attention. I guess the fact that mostly all of my close friends are in really great relationships doesn't help the fact that I feel a little bit alone at times. I mean shit man am I just seeing something that isn't there? HAHAH I just thought- hey maybe he's just not that into me!!!

Straight Up Tired

This has been one of the longest weeks of my life, or it seems. I have been sick and I have been mentally and physically exhausted. At one point this week I thought that I might just stay in bed and let the world keep going on without me. It has just been a long week and I need to remember that my life could just be so much worse. I have so much to be thankful for and I know things could get worse, I am just so thankful that I have the day off tomorrow and Monday. I feel like my life has become so unorganized and just a cluster fuck of mess. I am not good at slowing down and that is really what I needed to do this week but I didn't. I miss my family and my friends, I have not seen them in a while and this coming week I have the schedule from hell. I've got a full plate at work and more test to turn in and follow up on for my medical situation.
Tonight I was leaving Walgreens after work and there was a man on a bike and he asked me for my spare change. All I had was a $10. bill, at first I hesitated but I gave him the bill. He needed it more than me and if I can help someone who is less fortunate than me I will. It is so easy to see how anyone can end up not being able to provide for themselves.
Tonight it's raining and the power is flickering and it is the perfect weather to sleep in. I don't know if it will be cold again or not, it has been cold for the past week or two and it even snowed. It has been at least 10 years of so since it snowed in Florida.
I'm going to make a list of things to get done tomorrow and then I will settle in for the night. I am starting to feel better, and that is a great thing! I just can't keep on burning the candle at both ends!!!

It's all about how you play the game

Have you ever wondered why things happen and how all at once the messed up pieces fit into place? Like everyone else I fall on my face, I put my foot in my mouth, and just plain fuck it all up. At one point I use to think what if, I should have, or my favorite I wish I could just go back. It's easy to not take fault for your own actions and say if everything was different life would just be easier. So you just have to learn to suck it up and deal with your problems head on, and hopefully you will be smart enough to learn from them along the way.